How to Ask for Money In Place of a Christmas Gift

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Do you want money for Christmas instead of a gift? Is there ever a tactful way to ask for money in place of a gift? Well, it all depends on how you go about asking. Here are some suggestions.

Steps

1. Be open and responsible in your raising your request. Sit down with your parents, spouse, partner or friend and tell them you'd like a heart-to-heart talk about Christmas gifts. Tell them that this year, you really would like to purchase an item or fund an activity or goal but that you cannot do it without their help. Be very frank about why you cannot afford the item or activity by yourself but also make it clear that you have already set aside savings towards it and that you see their assistance as a valuable contribution.
   
2. Be polite. Always let the potential gift-giver know that you appreciate everything that he or she has given you and does for you. Tell this person that this time, however, it would be really special if he or she could contribute to helping you reach a goal that you have your heart set on. Do not lay guilt trips on your potential gift-giver and never bring up gifts of the past that he or she has given you that you didn't like or didn't ask for.
   
3. Have something special in mind. Don't just ask for money in place of gifts because you want money to spend the money aimlessly. If you want money for savings, specific items or for particular events, tell your potential gift-giver clearly! There are many good reasons to ask for money instead of a gift, you just need to be clear. Some reasons might include:
   
   • A computer that is modified or tailored exactly to your needs for school, work, research or study etc.;
     
   • A college or university fund. Ask your potential gift-giver if he or she might be willing to pay directly into the savings account earmarked for this, or to write a check with "College Fund" written on the reason line;
     
   • A travel wish, whether for a vacation or for educational or volunteer purposes;
     
   • Specific activities, such as summer school, art classes, technical training, modeling course, swimming lessons etc.;
     
   • A sports wardrobe for a new sport you have taken up with a passion but you need to be sure the items fit you and suit you;
     
   • To share the Christmas spirit: A direct financial donation to a charity of your choice, including the "gift that keeps on giving" through charities that supply farm animals, tools and food supplies to people who have very little to live off in developing countries.
     
   
   
4. Be reasonable, flexible and sensible. Permit the potential gift-giver to sum up in his or her mind a suitable amount of money. He or she may very well ask you for an amount and you should always have a reasonable amount in mind to offer but nothing extravagant or ridiculous. Let the person decide for you, as this is their gift to you.
   
5. Be gracious. If the gift-giver agrees on the spot, thank him or her profusely and leave it at that. Be certain to say that you realise not to expect any gifts at all and that you will gladly explain to other people, such as family members, friends etc. why you did not receive a gift from this person if asked.
   
6. Be patient. If the potential gift-giver does not agree immediately, do not badger or whine. This is not only an indication of ungrateful feelings but it sets up a negative situation between the two of you over something that must come from the heart - a gift. Thank them and wait and see. The person may need time to digest your request. Christmas gifts are thoughtful blessings, not a right, so enjoy the day and all it brings you, being with family and friends and sharing in the festive food and spirit.
   

Tips

• You may want to start talking about your request as early as possible. You know the person/people in your life that you will be asking this of, so you will know when they are likely to be starting to gift shop for you. Some leave it until the last minute, while others may be shopping in the summer sales! Use your knowledge of your potential gift-giver to guide you in when to raise this wish of yours.
  
• Asking for money is often acceptable to people when they are clear that you need to purchase an item tailored to your wants and needs. If you like a certain kind of clothing, a specially modified piece of jewelry or a backpack that fits your back etc., these are the sorts of precise reasons that you should provide when explaining things to your gift-giver.
  
• For some people, giving money rather than having to search for a gift is a benefit; sometimes you may be surprised that you meet with no resistance after the first few words, when your potential gift-giver is happily relieved of having to undertake the annual shopping trek in crowded stores...
  
• Be prepared to be asked this request yourself. It helps to put yourself in the shoes of being asked, to see how it would make you feel and the sorts of responses you would give. That will give you a good indication of how to go about this request respectfully.
  
• Send a thank-you note just like you would for tangible gift. (You WOULD send a thank-you note, wouldn't you??) When someone gives you exactly what you wanted, the least you can do is thank them -- in your own best handwriting, in an envelope, with a stamp. (A word to the wise: The smile that warms their heart when they read your letter also warms their wallet for the next occasion!)
  

Warnings

• If they say no, don't keep asking. They have their reasons for saying no; maybe they've already bought you something.
  
• Never ask for money for aimless spending. It is rude, thoughtless and it will be easily seen through. Even if you get the money this time around for such an unimportant reason, the lesson will teach your gift-giver to be wary of you asking for money ever again.
  
• Don't be greedy.
  

Things You'll Need

• A well thought-out reason why you would rather have money than a gift
  
• Possibly have on hand catalogs, online sites etc. to demonstrate that you have done research into the item that you want and that you are clear in your idea
  

Related wikiHows

• How to Choose a Gift for Your Friends
  
• How to Buy Creative Gifts for Your Teenage Friends
  
• How to Choose a Christmas Gift for Your Boss
  
• How to Give a Great Gift to Someone
  
• How to Choose a Christmas Gift for a Foreign Partner
  

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